Uncovering the Hidden Wounds of Your Attachment Style: The Road to Healing Your Relationships
Today, I want to talk about a topic that’s near and dear to my heart – healing our attachment wounds.
Our attachment styles direct our feelings, communication, choices, and interactions in adult relationships. Our attachment wounds constantly trigger these styles in our adult interactions. This ultimately affects the quality and stability of our relationships and our social or career interactions. Most of all, they shape our perceptions of self-worth.
Many of us have attachment wounds we simply cannot let go of. They were established in childhood and followed us into adulthood. If our attachment style was insecure in childhood, chances are we may well transfer that to our own children and close relationships.
As an adult, attachment issues can manifest as anxiety, avoidance, dismissiveness, disorganization, and fear.
New experiences that offer another perspective can shift us to another attachment style as they change with major life events and with different partners.
In deciding to research and write my second book in The Sisterhood Series, I was prepared to tackle this extremely sensitive topic on a personal level. To deep dive into my own wounds and vulnerability to understand what it means to have attachment wounds, how I got them in the first place, and what my healing might look like.
For as long as I can remember, resulting from childhood and adult trauma, I’ve felt rejected and abandoned by loved ones. My story unfolds across each of the 10 Chapters in my book. Suffice it to say, I’m insightful enough to know my wounds are affecting my life choices and how I show up in the world. Stepping into the fullness of who I am hinges on my understanding of their origins and how I assign meaning and deal with them.
Many women don’t have secure attachment styles, which impacts adult behavior. By identifying and addressing attachment scars, we can more authentically improve the way we develop positive relationships in life.
So many women are living with shame. Many of us are also shamed for having emotions – a process that was started in toxic childhood environments and often made worse through our toxic and abusive adult relationships. At some point in our lives, we have to stop generational trauma from flattening our lives.
The good news is that healing these wounds is possible, and it starts with understanding what attachment wounds are and how they affect us.
Through therapy, self-reflection, and a lot of self-compassion and forgiveness, I started to understand my attachment style and the root causes of my wounds. It was, in all honesty, no easy path to embark upon, but it has been so worth it.
The events of my life catapulted me into drastic changes. There were times when I had to be fierce with myself and make deliberate and intentional choices to reframe the trauma that was holding me back all these years.
“A reframing journey after attachment trauma involves a process of meeting yourself again.”
Boadi Moore
Attachment styles, I’ve learned, are not set in stone. Understanding our past frees us from current pain and suffering and empowers us to improve our future adult relationships. When we can identify our attachment style (and our partner’s) and how it’s possibly sabotaging our hopes and dreams, we begin to initiate integration of our trauma and reframe our attachment style.
In my new book ‘Healing Your Attachment Wounds: A Guide to Healing What’s Hidden in Your Attachment Styles and Relationships’ (due to be released on Amazon July 2023), you’ll find practical tips and exercises to help you identify and take steps to heal from toxic attachments.
Inside Healing Our Attachment Wounds, you’ll discover:
- How attachment styles impact individuals far into adulthood
- Ways to understand which attachment styles connect most to your life
- Raw and relatable stories that highlight how women can learn to let go of negative attachments
- Strategies to explore and resolve negative parental attachment
- Methods to detach from childhood trauma
- Techniques to identify and heal toxic attachments
- Ideas for reframing personal boundaries and communication
- Unique and constructive self-care routines to begin celebrating you!
We heal when the broken pieces become part of this beautiful new and authentic person —acknowledged and loved despite the flaws, despite our tears. Our healing becomes real when we don’t deny the shattered pieces their rightful place in our becoming, but we see their benefit and we turn that into a shining light on a new path.
Finding our voice after years of silence is probably one of the most difficult things to do. But it can also be one of the most liberating things to do! Trauma wounds can be powerful forces that hold us back from sharing our story. But sharing our stories can change lives. Before they help others, our stories help us.
Remember, healing is a journey. By taking the first step and acknowledging our attachment wounds, we’re already on our way to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
TAKE THE QUIZ
What’s Your Attachment Style?
If you’re interested in learning more about healing your attachment wounds and want to start your journey towards greater self-awareness and self-love, then why not take the Quiz I developed to help you discover your unique attachment style – and that of your partner!
CLICK HERE to complete the FORM to download your FREE eBook and Quiz.
And I promise to reach out to you the minute ‘Healing Your Attachment Wounds’ becomes available on Amazon.
Lastly, thank you for being a part of my community of strong, resilient women. Remember to make this journey special to you. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and settle in each week as you read and reflect on my letter to you.
If there is someone in your friendship circle who you feel could benefit from the information offered in my monthly newsletters, please share this information with them.
With Much Love and Sisterhood,
