Why Now is the Perfect Time to Go Sober!
We’ve hit the ground running with The Sisterhood Series
Welcome back! In my first newsletter, I shared that we’ll continue an ongoing discussion each month about the reframing process, which I break down into simple steps in my book WOMEN GOING SOBER: An Empowerment Guide for Women Going Alcohol-Free and Embracing Being a Non-Drinker.
Today, we’ll start to look at the why now idea that you may already get so many questions about or may personally wonder about. Because I always want our chats to feel authentic and honest, I hope that you’ll consider sharing your ideas as we continue this journey together. So, grab your cup of coffee or tea, and let’s get started.
A Welcoming Reminder
When putting into perspective why you are here, I want to remind you that you’re already doing the amazing work needed to reframe your thinking and start healing.
Through these newsletters, you’ll gain strategies and tools to use along the way but, the fact that you’re here and reading this means that you’re still taking an active interest in learning about yourself.
I welcome you back to The Sisterhood Series, which emphasizes healing and empowerment for all women.
What to Expect
Have people been asking you about your sobriety? Sometimes it can feel like when you’ve made your sober plans known to the public, you get 100 follow-up questions, especially from current drinkers. This may not only feel overwhelming and invasive, but may also hinder your healing process, so I’m going to offer a quick bit of advice:
When you first go sober, you don’t have to say much about going sober!
That’s right! This is your business and you don’t need to come up with a long explanation of why you’re sober. In fact, in WOMEN GOING SOBER, there is a chapter devoted to this particular topic (Chapter 6: “Talking to Others About Your Journey”). It provides you with a road map of how to talk to family and friends about sobriety in a non-confrontational and easy way.
Of course, if you’re asked about sobriety, you can answer and you don’t have to stay awkwardly silent; but, please know that it’s perfectly fine to give a short response, then move on to a different subject. Doing this takes away any power that a conversation about drinking may have, especially at the start of your sobriety when a non-drinker is more vulnerable.
If you act like sobriety is no big deal, then it becomes no big deal. Ultimately, you’ll find that others want to make a bigger issue than you do about your sobriety, so try not to let yourself get caught up in this talk—especially in the beginning.
How to Start Healing
When you consider your path to healing, is it mapped out perfectly in front of you? If it is, then you’ve probably been thinking about the idea of sobriety for a while, and it’s lovely that you’re now able to start walking along this planned trail.
For most of us, however, we stumble upon sobriety (sometimes literally) after a difficult or negative experience with drinking. The first key idea to keep in mind when choosing sobriety is to recognize that you will be one of your harshest critics.
In thinking about times when you had too much to drink and said or did something that now makes you cringe, understand that—in your mind—this behavior will be magnified.
It may feel like another person’s perception of these words or actions is greater than yours but, in reality, your mind is probably clinging to these memories much more than someone else is thinking of them.
Working to heal yourself means being able to mute the negativity that you may feel in association with these memories and start to separate the person you were then from the person you are now.
The reframing process will assist with this goal so that these distinctions can be made.
Why Go Sober Now?
Maybe you’ve been asking yourself this question as you make decisions about what you want this journey to look like while moving forward. I want to reassure you, friends, that any day in your life that you decide to go sober is the perfect time to do so.
The biggest obstacle for many women in wanting to become sober comes when they fear that this new “activity” will take up more time in their already busy lives. Let me again comfort you by pointing out that it probably would take more time and effort on your part to continue drinking than it would to become and stay sober.
In WOMEN GOING SOBER, Chapter 1, titled “The Alcohol-Free Wake-Up Call,” gives you a sense of comfort that you’re making the right decision for yourself and empowering your mind.
There’s something about continuing a “drinking lifestyle” that becomes overwhelming. A person’s mind is constantly flooded with questions such as:
- How many drinks should I have tonight?
- How will I behave after I’ve had a few drinks?
- What will I feel like the morning after a night of drinking?
These are all typical and valid questions that add to the busyness of the mind.
Now, eliminate all of this chatter by not drinking, and what do you have left? The sober woman no longer has to worry about how they’ll act or what they’ll say because they’re now in control. Going sober declutters the mind so that you can feel less regret and worry (Side note: you’ll also remember the situation much better!).
While this is a lot to unpack, know that I’m here to support you and we can use the idea of a healing circle to help our sisters. This is going to be an amazing process simply because you are starting it at the perfect time—now!
A Healing Hope
In one section of my book WOMEN GOING SOBER, I discuss the fact that I had to learn to reframe my view of who I thought I was so that I could start healing. Using intuition to guide our lives is often something that women feel uncomfortable doing because it goes against the idea that we need to play a certain role for others. When a woman uses her intuition to live and make choices, she often finds that she is living more authentically.
If in thinking ahead about your sobriety, you feel like you’re going to be alone, socially anxious, or lacking confidence simply because you don’t drink, let’s start to reframe this idea right now.
If you were leaning on alcohol as a crutch to hold you up, consider your new, authentic self as you remove this harmful substance and learn to walk on your own.
In The Sisterhood Series, we’ll continue to explore how eliminating alcohol from our lives allows us to live better.
Final Thought: Reframe Through Love
To unpack the process of reframing, we’ll need to keep developing our life script so that we have a direction that focuses our mind and continues to keep us motivated. In WOMEN GOING SOBER, the section titled “People Who Love Themselves Take Care of Themselves” concentrates on ways to hold this reframed picture of yourself within your mind so that the current reality doesn’t stand in the way of accomplishing your goal of sobriety.
If you feel that you’re being thrown off course, picturing the person you will be and finding new ways to reinvent yourself can provide encouragement.
You are always invited to share any stories or questions on this journey. If you know another “sister” who you feel may want to join you, please share this information with her as well: www.BoadiMoore.com/the-perfect-time-to-go-sober.
If you have not yet subscribed to my monthly newsletter, please join here. As a bonus for being a valued subscriber, I want to gift you a FREE JOURNAL to start reframing your life today. This journal provides you with a workable space to tell your story, reflect on your accomplishments, and heal from alcohol addiction. This journal goes hand-in-hand with WOMEN GOING SOBER: An Empowerment Guide.
This truly is the best time for your alcohol-free journey to begin!
With Much Love,
